Drawers of memories and thoughts

Mind was blank... staring hard at the blog thinking what to type... Trying to recap what has happened the past 6 months.. Moving to a new company, meeting new colleagues in a new environment. Actually what is so tough about adapting, I guess I am that type who likes to be in a comfort-zone. I maybe sociable but at the end of the day I just wish to be alone drinking my bubble tea and lunching with me n myself.

I still having empty feelings about the past.. I dunno whats the next step or I what more can I do to make things stay. I guess everything/ppl comes n goes just like wind. Some ppl may feel that I am very lucky to be in a happy family, married and with a bunch of good frens. But did they ever know how I gone thru all the pain previously? How does it feels when u really love someone a lot and u have no choice but to let the person go? How does it feels when u tot u can rely on the person but somehow he left you with no words? How does it feels when you have to struggle with work n your own love life trying to stop the tears from running? How does it feels when everything seems so right became wrong? Life is a mystery... and imagine working until you have no choice but to leave is the same as you love until u have to break.. dats how I started to be more independent coz at the end of the day if ppl needs to leave, I shouldn't be feeling so terrible? Tired? Yes I am? but who knows.. In front of ppl, you have to keep on smiling like you are perfectly fine and be professional.

Nobody is able to turn back time even if we are able to turn back time, if it is meant to happen it will happen there is no escape.

The meaningful life is a road worth traveling...

After 9 years, finally starting my blog again.. and I went to a new place to start my new job. Its not an easy decision to move on from the comfort zone especially missing the old kakis, familiar voices and environment since I was there when I am just 22 years old..

Emotions started to tear up my eyes.. I missed the fun the laughter that I had over there.. But nobody can ever understand that attachment feel that I had over the past years.. All the joy the pain I spent over there.. memories pouring over n over it.. its not every pain, I am able to move on and forget.. Some people said.. u lost but you will gain along the way.. and I believe so.. People who I never realised will be important to me became part of my life.. people whom I tot will stay, left... I used to keep follow people footstep and forget what I really want in my life..

After all these years, I realised what my heart really wanted.. I was always so busy and in so much of a rush that I was forgetting to actually live. I was forgetting to slow down and make eye contact with the people I love. I was more interested in checking my email to see what my Head had to say than making a connection with the person sitting right across from me.

When Was the Last Time?

Then I had to start asking myself the hard questions….when was the last time I sat down to read a book I truly enjoyed, or talk about something that I experienced? When was the last time I ate something really delicious and actually enjoyed it? Life is like a show and a show is like a replay of life. Isn’t everyone’s life like a show? Who doesn't fight and struggle between work and family? Who is not affected by the various stages in life and vicissitudes of life? The seemingly splendid life everybody leads in fact hides a life of loneliness. Friends may be many but buddies are few. everyone has his/her life story. How one’s story should end lies in one’s hands....

(I miss... the year before rain falls.. when people starts putting their mask.. when ppl strive to get better they tend to forget the ones who battle with them to achieve their success)